-9-THE OFFICE OF HIGH PRIESTHOOD Not long after the Discordian Society was founded, there happened a schism (no great religion is without schisms!). It seems that Malaclypse (The Younger)--while under inspiration-- realized that the Greeks did not understand the Principle of Discord very well at all; and that Eris should not be taken quite as literally as had been done. And for about five days, Malaclypse (The Younger) went through a period of Rebellion, and was heard making such comments as "Down with Eris" and "Screw God" and other terrible things which made Lord Omar very angry. Passing through his rebellious phase, Malaclypse (The Younger) asked Lord Omar just what they should do; for Lord Omar's inspirations told him that Eris was to be taken literaly--or nearly so, anyway. Well, they went into conference at the Bowling Alley where Eris first presented Herself to them, and together they talked things over with Eris. After much lengthly contemplation, discussion, meditation, and consideration they concluded that it is perfectly within the Discordian Philosophy to have Sex (I mean Sects). And each appointed the other asLHigh Priest of his particular interpretation. THE ERISIAN ORTHODOXY is the interpretation of Lord Omar, and is more or less loyal to the ancient understanding of Eris, and feels that she is a real live Goddess (sort of). Any member of this sect should never, never take Her name in vain, or so much as suggest that another God or Goddess comes anywhere near Her. THE HERETIC FRINGE & PROTESTANT PERSUASION is the interpretation of Malaclypse (The Younger). He feels that She is not a real live Goddess but if there was one, it would be She. Being a Symbolic Manifestation of The Principle (which is what he calls Her), She does not, he argues, always represent the appropriate specific. Which means that sometimes a Fringe Heretic & Persuaded Protestant can say "Hail Baccus" or "Hail St. Bokonon" or "Hail Me" or something, if he feels that Eris is not the appropriate symbolafnunder the circumstances at the moment. The liberal interpreters may take Her name in vain on occassion; but do so sparingly, with kindness, and not in the presence of an Orthodox Erisian(note 7). At the time that this is being written, these are the only two sects and the only two High Priests. However, there is one way to become a High Priest yourself--but that is a secret, and never let out of the Office. The reason that it is secret is this: The High Priests feel that being a High Priest and having followers is quite a responsibility, and should not be available to just any one. So, if a person understands Discordianism to the degree in which it is apparent to him, without being told, how he can become a High Priest (if he wants to), then he understands it well enough to qualify. So don't ask a High Priest how he became one, because he cannot tell you. Incidentally, this is the only secret that is to be found in the Erisian Mysteries--the reason that we are "esoteric" is because nobody ever heard of us.