ON BEHALF OF ERIS THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY PRESENTS AN OUTLINE-GUIDE-OF-THE-HIERARCHY- OF-ARGUMENTS-TO-USE-ON-POTENTIAL-CONVERTS FOR THE BENEFIT OF OUR DISORGANIZATION MEN IN THE FIELD (OR, IF YOU PREFER: PASTURE). The Socratic Approach should always be used to open the con- versation with the victim. That is what asking questions to start an argument is called. You approach the victim and simply ask: "Did you know that God is a female? And that Her name is ERIS, Goddess of Discord?" If the victim says "yes", then he's either lying or you've picked a fellow Discordian, idiot. If he doesn't, then proceed to: THE BLIND ASSERTION. This is where you say, "Well, She is a woman and Her name is Eris." Now see if the victim appears to be convinced. If not, proceed to THE FAITH BIT. "But you must have faith! Faith is wonderful, etc.! I feel sorry for you if you don't have faith!" And then add THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR. "Do you know what happens to those who don't believe in Goddess?" If the victim says "no", don't tell him whatever it is you think happens to unbelievers, just shake your head sadly and go to THE FIRST CAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all the chaos around you and ask, "Well who do you think make all this then, wise guy?" If he says "nobody, just impersonal forces", then go on to THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS wherein you say that he is right and that those impersonal forces are a female and that Her name is Eris. If he still objects to your objectionable presence, then go to the FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE wherein you explain that all sophisticated people know that Eris is just a figurative symbol for discord, but that the Discordian Religion is a magnificent work of art--portrait of chaos, so to speak. If nix... Quietly draft him into Ichabod College where he may flunk to his heart's'stupid content.----- In the name of Our Lady of Discord; by the hand of LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, K.C.: Bull Goose of Limbo & Protector of Switzerland; High Priest of The Erisian Orthodoxy =====Hail Eris