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WHAT MUST YOU DO TO SAVE US?
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To aid us in our devine appiontment, we have instituted a
system of Involuntary Induction, or draft, or draugh, whereby
we enable others to serve her cause irregardless of whatever
personal desires they may have on the matter.
Greetings, Grace.
You are now a member of the Legion of Dynamic Discord (or,
if you prefer: The Chaos Corps -- or, if you again prefer: Corpse)
and your specific, CHOSEN DUTY is the humble-proud task of serving
as Benevolent Alpine Trouble Shooter (or, if you prefer: Shooter-
ess), or BATS.
I hereby grant you full authorization to shoot any Alpine
Trouple and ask you to fully inform yourself at once about all
details of the Swiss Crisis.
As you doubtless know, not long ago I discovered that the
sinister Defamation League was plotting to get eleven small nat-
ions together and rob all the banks in Switzerland, commando-stlye.
I do not know much about the sinister leader of this Plot To
Knock Off Switzerland, except that his followers call him the
Anonymous One and that one of the small nations involved is the
Soveriegn Military Order of Malta and that another might be Lux-
embourge or, perhaps, Manaco. My many duties as Bull Goose of
this disorganization have kept me from finding out more.
Our objective is to get the Swiss to be cognizant of the
peril and entrust us with their gold until the Plot is foiled by
our Knights Of The Five-Sided Temple or somebody. If we could
convince them of our trustworthyness by getting hold of an ICBM?
That is one idea. I leave it up to you to probe the situation and
come up with some POSITIVE ACTION steps in renegotiating the matter,
Both the Ply-Padre of Virginity-In-Gould and I will do what-
ever we can to help. Drop us your problems:
THE OMNIBENEVOLENT POLYFATHER OF VIRGINITY-IN-GOLD
L& Q. vA. Kallisti c/o Gregry H. Hill
422 No. Milton Avenue, Whittier, California
or: THE BULL GOOSE OF LIMBO, Lord Omar Ravenhurst
c/o Kerry Thornley, 4201 So. 31st St. -349
Arlington, Va.
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